From the archives: NFL All-Criminal Offensive and Defensive Lineups

The fine folks at Infojocks put these two graphics together, you can find full-size versions by clicking here.

The Few, The Proud: Guys Who Make Jim Belushi Look Skinny

L-R: Mike Tannenbaum, Jim Belushi, Rex Ryan

Wide right!

Is it really him? When I was 7 years old, a man named Scott Norwood became the hero of downstate and the zero of upstate New York when, as the Bills kicker, he missed a 47 yard field goal wide to the right in the closing seconds of Super Bowl 25, preserving the victory for the New York Football Giants. Facebook's new homepage confuses the crap out of me, but my newsfeed did deliver this gem today. I wonder if it is him. I hope it is him.



That season for the Giants and Super Bowl 25 (XXV?) in particular is my earliest sports memory. Stephen Baker's TD grab and Mark Ingram's epic conversion on third down are etched in my memory. But what made that Super Bowl so awesome was the pure, unadulterated Americanism on display. Operation Desert Storm had just gotten underway, there were attack helicopters hovering around the stadium, everyone was waving American flags, the payers were all wearing yellow wrist bands in honor of the troops and Whitney Houston DOMINATED the national anthem. And then Scott Norwood won it for the Giants.

Championship Weekend Predictions

I went an abysmal 1-3 last week, putting myself at 4-4 for the playoffs. This week's games will feature a lot of proven defenses. In fact, 3 of the top 4 team defenses in the league play this weekend - the Jets, who made Tom Brady look like he was on a bad acid trip last week, come in ranked 7th in team defense. Snipes is pressed for time so here go the picks.

Green Bay Packers at Chicago Bears:

I talked about defense but Aaron Rodgers will be the story. He put on an absolute shred-fest in Atlanta last week and looks pretty unstoppable. Rodgers won't do the same against a Bear's defense but he's got two big time receivers in Driver and Jennings, plus James Starks playing well enough that Chicago can't just play pass. Cutler HAS to throw a stupid pick during the playoffs so it'll happen this weekend in the game they lose. Green Bay 34, Chicago 21

New York Jets at Pittsburgh Steelers:

The Jets aren't really talking a whole lot of shit this week. I'm not sure why since it seemed to kick start them enough to beat Indy and New England, both on the road. Not that hot air wins the games, Rex Ryan is clearly a good game planner. As for Pittsburgh, as much as I despise that white trash piece of shit, Ben Roethlisberger, he's a good quarterback who doesn't panic in the pocket if he suspects someone might be breathing on him. A play-extending QB, defense, Mike Wallace and home field will equate to a win in a good game. I hate both of these teams. Pittsburgh 24, New York 21

Divisional Weekend Predictions

I went 3-1 last weekend - losing my sure thing bet in Seattle's big W. The Seahawks move on to Chicago while everything else I expected panned out. This weekend features compelling games with two young quarterbacks playing what could be the first of many career playoff games against each other in ATL v. GB, the AFC's two best rivalries and, uh, the Seahawks v. Bears. Picks below in train of thought form:

Baltimore Ravens at Pittsburgh Steelers

Physical matchup of ass kicker defenses. Pittsburgh fresh. Ravens Tired. Polamalu 2 sacks and a pick off of Joe Sacko. Pittsburgh 21, Baltimore 13

Green Bay Packers at Atlanta Falcons

Young guns at QB. Home sweet dome for the Falcons. Falcons more physical than you think. Brent Grimes makes a key defensive play. Atlanta 27, Green Bay 17

Seattle Seahawks at Chicago Bears

Seahawks confident after last week and earlier road win at Chi. Cutler likes to throw picks. Shitty field. Chicago has a good defense but I'm feeling the Pac. NW this weekend. Seattle 24, Chicago 14

New York Jets at New England Patriots

I didn't know these dudes were playing this weekend?? Nobody in the media wants to call a blowout but a cheap blogger like myself will. New England 38, New York 10

Did anyone else catch this in Pack-Eagles first half?

Aikman saw this little back and forth from Buck coming, but it nevertheless made for a great exchange between Troy and his infuriating booth partner.

Buck: That's the infamous 4th and 26th conversion by the Eagles and the great...
Aikman: ...you had to go there...
Buck: ...and the great Fred Ex. The People's Champ!
Aikman: The Sultan of Slot!
Buck: Freddy Mitchell!
Aikman: Fourth Down Freddy!

That's more nicknames than Crash had in college.



And that's Fed Ex

Wildcard Weekend Predictions

Despite the January weather and the daunting feeling of a new year ahead, my spirits are buoyed knowing that over the next several weeks real life theatre will be played out in the form of the NFL Playoffs. Upsets, weather, individual excellence, beers and 'chos await. Below are my picks for this week’s matchups. I’ll pick before every weekend.

New Orleans Saints at Seattle Seahawks.
The rational person would pick the team that does not have to travel 2,000 miles, to a loud stadium, playing in the rain when your home field is a dome and using your 3rd running back as your starter. Then that rational person would be told that the home team is the Seattle Seahawks. The game could be closer than we think but I'm not liking the NFC west champs. New Orleans 28, Seattle 17

New York Jets at Indianapolis Colts
Toughest pick of the week for me. The Colts had a tough year with injuries, yet played well enough to go to 11-5 and get a home game this weekend. The Jets have found a new distraction every other week but have a good defense and a coach who will make some crazy "maximum risk" calls. I’ll take the Jets even though Sanchez goes 13-29 1 TD 2 INT. Ladainian Tomlinson will also lead the game in first down celebrations. NYJ 24, Indianapolis 21

Baltimore Ravens at Kansas City Chiefs
Baltimore is on the road but have the clichéd running and defense formula. They also win in the experience category. Though KC always has the ability to go off (I’d take Cassel over Joe “I can’t throw over the middle” Flacco), Baltimore is tough with Ray Rice and that killer defense. As long as Baltimore’s D doesn’t munson themselves with a barrage of defensive penalties (2nd in the league), they should get a win. Baltimore 28, KC 14

Green Bay Packers at Philadelphia Eagles
Recently we've that teams have started to figure Michael Vick out. The Giants did it for the 3 quarters and the Vikings a whole game – if you can get to him he'll press or feel uncomfortable running. Green Bay has the dudes on defense to wreak some havoc in Mike Vick’s world. They also have Aaron Rogers. Green Bay 31 Philadelphia 21

Solid Zinger On NY Daily News Cover

TCD has strict standards on covering tabloid topics so I'll refrain from mentioning Brett Favre's alleged transgressions. I will, however, say that today's NY Daily News cover is funny.

I also bought a Mega Millions ticket today.

Dude Butchers National Anthem. Chiefs Fans React Unfavorably.

I feel bad for this guy. I really do. I'm sure he knows the Star Spangled Banner, practiced it hundred's of times and has probably performed it in front of large groups of people before. Welp, yesterday just wasn't his day. This guy mangled the National Anthem and the fan's did not attempt to ignore his lyrical fumbleruski. Actually, this was impossible to ignore. I don't know what the hell I'd do if this happened to me. Luckily, I have an awful voice.

The Chiefs should have ponied up and hired HLN for the anthem.

Dos Equis parody of the day

Cut looks FAT. And not the PH kind.



Sub note of selfless self promotion: check out an interesting look at NFL parity here.

NFL TV Map Index

I've been meaning to get this out to you loyal readers a bit earlier but...I just haven't. This site is a great way for people who don't live in their favorite NFL team's viewing area to see whether or not you'll be able to watch your team on your couch or if you'll have to go to a bar. The site is especially helpful for those in Blue Law states where you actually have to think ahead and buy beers on Saturday for your NFL Sundays. Nothing worse than seeing your game is on and then discovering there is only a lone Bud Light Lime in your fridge that the annoying chic left the night before.

Check out the maps here, click on the date and see if your game will be on.

Life after football

e

There are so many stories about NFL heroes becoming zeroes in the football afterlife. I like to think this picture captures that. There are the tragic stories about concussions. There are obvious stories about steroids . There are a novel full of stories that make you see your childhood hero in a (only kind of) new and unfortunate light.

The image of Phase I of the Aftermath of Junior Seau's most recent foray into this disturbing trend is what you see above.

That kind of season for Favre

NFL uniforms will have The Swoosh in 2012

Today it was announced that Nike has won the license to make NFL branded material and uniforms, replacing Reebok which has held the NFL rights since 2010. According to a Bloomberg piece this morning, Reebok's NFL license represents $350 million of the company's $565 million in US apparel revenue. Pretty hefty chunk. Reebok was bought by Adidas back in 2006, likely with the hopes of diversifying out of their soccer and tennis strongholds and getting a piece of that ripe NFL market. Adidas stock was down by as much as 3.3% in trading today but CEO Herbert Hainer told CNBC that losing the NFL contract won't "make or break the company." Nike continues to crush it.

Moss and Crazy Chics

Great analogy from this week's Simmons column comparing the Patriots cutting ties with Randy Moss to dudes dating the hot but crazy chic. I always try to hate on Simmons, but he gets it.

"You know it probably won't last long. You know you can't get attached. You know that it has to be condoms all the time, every time, no exceptions. You know you can't let her move her stuff into your apartment, give her a key, get your e-mail password or find out where your checkbook is. Even when things are going perfectly -- like a vacation in Mexico when you're watching the sun setting on the beach, or a dance floor at a wedding when she's the sexiest girl there and you're the envy of your buddies -- in the back of your mind, you're constantly saying 'Keep your guard up, keep your guard up, keep your guard up,' because that's how it has to be. And at the first hint of trouble, you bail. No hard feelings."

NOT a completion for Ochocinco

Excellent idea: Chad Ochocinco gets a cereal named after him, "Ochocinco's." AND it benefits Feed the Children. Good man Chad.

One problem: Due to a misspelling on the box, callers trying to reach the Feed the Children donation line were reaching a sex line instead. As a result, all boxes of Ochocinos will have to be pulled from shelves.

After school project

I got an email from a professor today asking if I would help him with a statistical analysis project of his that is essentially an NFL Power Rankings system. My task would be to compare the results of the professor's pretty simple performance model - it uses only 4 inputs based on play-by-play results - to other similar statistical as well as anecdotal power ranking systems for NFL teams. You can check out the model's output each week in the Wall Street Journal in print in NYC or on the Internet World Wide Web here.

I think I am going to say yes and help out, but only if I am granted access to the model and fix the flaw that caused the GMEN to fall from 4th to 20th this week. Oh, wait. Nevermind. That wasn't the model's fault. That was an o-line that got torched, a d-line that got dominated, a non-existent linebacking core, a potential team cancer at running back (sound familiar, Tiki?) and an injured Kevin Boss.

Ranking highlights...

Rank Team Points
1 Colts 3.05
4 Texans 2.67
7 Jets 2.00
12 Patriots 1.41
13 Falcons 1.39
20 Giants -1.05
32 Panthers -3.68

Thoughts/rants on ranking highlights...
- How 'bout them Texans?
- That 7/12 spot has gotta sting half the readers/participants of this blog
- The 7/20 spot would hurt more if the GMEN hadn't dirtied Sanchez in the preseason
- Good to see the team the Giants beat in week 1 is dead last. I said after the opener that the Panthers were probably going to be the worst team in football this year.

One really good play from Sunday's game

It's never fun when your team loses, never mind to a Jets team coached by one of the loudest, most in-your-face coaches in the league and quarterbacked by a guy who has looked like he should be getting some burn in the CFL. Things started to go south right after Moss escaped from Revis Island (and of course Revis tweaked a hammy on the play...right), but WOW was that catch a thing of beauty.

Here are some more great catches made in the Hub:

Great catches by Boston athletes - Boston.com

Auto-Tune is Alive and Well

This was on Inside the NFL last week. Never thought I'd say Bill Parcells reminds me of Lil Wanye.