Our Sloppy Savior

Andy Roddick's knee might be done. Or is it his shoulder this time? Serena's display of unparalled lady-like sportsmanship at the US Open sunk the Williams family's tennis armada. Former World Amateur champ Donald Young has not and will not come close to living up to his professional hype. Fret not fans of American tennis, for I give to you on this day the unlikely man who, along with object of TCD affection Melanie Oudin, will help resurrect American tennis.



Step aside Justin Gimelstob (right), you were a joke anyway. Readers might better recognize the dude on the left if he had a pair of dungus stix on his shoulder and 50 Tom College's in his hand. According to ESPN.com, Bode Miller will enter the US Open National Playoff in order to earn a spot in Flushing come September where Bode will be able to compete and party at a "New York City" level.

P.S. - Interesting sub-information acquired while doing the research necessary for this story: allegedly Justin Gimelstob once called Anna Kournikova "a douche" on a radio show. In the same interview he predicted that he would hit the radiant Russian in her midsection with a serve in an upcoming exhibition match and that he wanted his younger brother to "nail her." Since when do bros call babes douches? Classy (hilarious), Justin.